Started by Arika Rapson (Island Herbal Consults)
Nov 4, 2025
Nov 4, 2025
0
Musings on Inclusive Holiday Gatherings
Nov 4, 2025
The holidays are rapidly approaching, and this is when many of us begin planning feasts for gatherings with loved ones. We have our cherished, passed down family recipes and the more adventurous of us may experiment with twists on the old classics to add variety from year to year.
For many, these celebratory feasts are both greatly anticipated and dreaded-while undoubtedly delicious, for some the cost of fully participating for those with food sensitivities or dietary restrictions can leave us with discomfort and/or pain that can last for days, weeks, or even months to follow. But regardless of whether we have these issues or not, all of us desire community and connection in these times, and deliciousness should not have to be sacrificed for eating in a way that is nourishing to the body. And we shouldn’t have to accept a painful flare-up as the price we pay for social connection, although all too often that is exactly what we do.
What’s striking to me about the tension and stress that eating in social settings can create is that it’s a wholly modern phenomenon. Up until the last 100 years, it was understood that food is medicine. We ate for nourishment. But in recent decades that has flipped on us, to the point that there’s not a whole lot left in the grocery store that our bodies actually recognize as food, and so we have to take a bunch of this other stuff we call ‘medicine’ to fix the problems aggravated by our diets.
We act like this is a very hard problem to solve, like the only options are ‘healthy’ or ‘delicious,’ but I don’t see it that way at all. I’d like to argue that it is possible to make food that is incredibly tasty and nourishing at the same time for everyone at your holiday gathering. And it may be quite a bit easier than you think.
Consider the meat you are serving-whether it’s a roasted turkey or perhaps a pork roast or baked ham or whatever else you have in mind, where the meat comes from matters. The fat in an animal that was raised in healthy conditions is full of anti-inflammatory omega-3s, whereas the fat in an animal that was raised in a factory farm is full of pro-inflammatory omega-6’s. We actually do need some inflammation and some omega-6s, but the American diet is already drowning in both. Bottom line: you don’t have to change the kind of meat or the recipe at all-just buy from local family farms! Literally any farm on Lopez. It’s that easy.
And yet, I know this can also be really confusing. Different headlines may jerk you in different directions-RFK suggests cutting back on seed oils but increasing saturated fats….what to make of that? Well, again I would point to the fact that where the meat comes from matters. And unfortunately, when all the studies were done on how evil saturated fats are decades ago, they did NOT distinguish between Lopez stew meat and Oscar Meyer Bologna. And I find that unfortunate. RFK is promoting saturated fats but he isn’t making that distinction either, which is just muddying the waters all around.
I think the thing we can all agree on is that processed foods are bad news, so homemade cooking for your feast is going to be a step up no matter what. But you don’t have to stop there.
If you’re worried about cholesterol, identifying food triggers and other inflammatory foods are where it is at, not the cholesterol level in the food itself. Let me say that again-it’s not the cholesterol in the food that matters, it’s the inflammation that causes your body to produce excess cholesterol in the first place. This isn’t fringe herbalist nonsense-back in 2015 the dietary guidelines for Americans were updated to reflect the fact that cholesterol in food has very little effect on the cholesterol we accumulate in our bodies. Rather, when we eat things that create an inflammatory response in our bodies, cholesterol is produced to act kind of like a scab to cover over the damage that is caused.
So the more inflammatory things we eat (either from pro-inflammatory foods or foods that you are sensitive or allergic to), the more cholesterol our body has to make to seal over the damage. You don’t have to stop eating bacon and eggs-just get the ones that come from healthy animals!
Now let’s move on to sugar, another holiday favorite. Here’s the thing about sweet things: in the natural world of our hunter-gatherer ancestors, sweet things were never dangerous to humans. They were hard to come by, but if you found something sweet, you knew it was not going to be poisonous and that it would have nourishment. Our modern bodies are still wired for that reality-sweetness still tends to give us feelings of comfort and safety, even though the majority of the sweet things we are eating today are anything but nourishing. This is why it’s so hard to stop eating sweet things, especially when we are stressed out.
So let’s not do away with sweets at our holiday gatherings-they have an important place at the table. What we can do though is swap our refined sugar and the like for anti-inflammatory sweeteners like honey, coconut sugar, maple syrup or monk fruit.
Quantity, of course, matters too. I’m a huge fan of flourless chocolate cake (which just so happens to be gluten and dairy free if you make it with coconut oil), and over the years I have experimented with just how much sugar I can reduce from the recipe without anyone even noticing. Turns out it’s quite a bit! Usually you can reduce the sugar by half in most recipes and it still tastes quite sweet. So even using less sugar in a recipe can allow you to make your old favorites while doing some harm reduction at the same time.
We’ve also never lived in an easier time to find gluten-free alternatives to just about everything you could possibly want or need. It’s gotten so easy. From pie crusts to sourdough bread to chocolate chip cookies, there are so many yummy ways to do it without gluten.
Of course, the obvious objection to doing any of this is that it’s going to cost more. And yes, that’s true-sometimes by just a little, sometimes a lot. And that does point to how much of ‘eating healthy’ can be tied to our socioeconomic status. But sometimes when we say we can’t afford something, we really mean that we don’t prioritize it. If we say we can’t afford eggs from cage-free chickens but still manage to get takeout a few times a week, it’s not really accurate to say we can’t afford it. If you are fortunate enough to have any disposable income, then your dollars (to an extent at least) reflect your values.
And the reality is that one way or another we are going to pay for what we eat with our health. Autoimmune disease rates, for example, have been skyrocketing the last ten years or so, to the point that in the course of my lifetime they have gone from being a rare thing to something incredibly common and affecting an ever growing number of folks.
Diet plays an enormous role here. As a clinical herbalist, you might expect me to say that herbs are the answer, but remember that whole thing about food being medicine? Ok, truth be told I actually do have a pretty great tea formula that can really speed up gut healing, but if I’m being honest, I have to tell you that removing problematic foods from the diet is going to have an even greater impact. And combining food with gut healing herbs can be totally transformative for someone living with chronic pain and debilitating limitations.
That being said, social gatherings make it really, really hard for folks with dietary restrictions to avoid painful flare-ups. Avoiding the gathering leads to social isolation though, and who wants that around the holidays!? It’s very challenging for folks to have to choose between their social needs and their physical health, but that is usually the reality people are dealing with.
(One final important thing to consider here are those with conditions like ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), which can show up for some autistic people and other folks as well. With ARFID, the root cause is often tied up in sensory issues-like an aversion to a certain texture-or about a fear of a food being unsafe because it could cause choking, etc. This condition is widely misunderstood, and often these individuals are accused of being antisocial, dramatic or get diagnosed with something like anorexia, even though body image is not at the heart of the condition.
Individuals with ARFID may have a narrow list of foods that are on their ‘safe’ list, and the holidays can be an overwhelming time. Particularly if someone has ARFID and autism, there can be the combined stress of social anxiety and anxiety about food. Being informed and compassionate about this and giving folks the space to eat what feels safe to them can help minimize the stress that holiday gatherings can bring.
So when you think about hosting an inclusive holiday gathering this year, consider broadening your ideas about what inclusivity can mean to include those with dietary restrictions and/or anyone living with chronic illness, pain or disability. You don’t have to try to create a menu that everyone can eat 100%--let your guests bring a dish too and share in the process. If someone needs to bring separate food for themselves because they have an especially challenging situation, that’s totally fine. It’s only a big deal if you turn it into one. Kindness and compassion are also part of being inclusive.
In terms of menu planning, if your meal is generally anti-inflammatory and low in major allergens, that is going to go a long way towards making it accessible to all of your guests, and literally everyone at the table will benefit from a truly nourishing and delicious meal that can give both your tastebuds and your bellies something to smile about.
If you need a little inspiration, stop by the Winter Farmer's Market Sat. and sample one of my herbal truffles--flavors like Nootka Rose, Ginger Spice, etc., all wildly decadent, anti-inflammatory and free of all major allergens.
For Further Reading
Inflammation, not Cholesterol, Is a Cause of Chronic Disease
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5986484/
Nutrition and Health in Agriculturists and Hunter-Gatherers: https://proteinpower.com/nutrition-and-health-in-agriculturalists-and-hunter-gatherers/
New Insights About Inflammation
https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/new-insights-about-inflammation
Life Saving Cholesterol Facts
https://newswithviews.com/Ellison/shane13.htm
About the author: https://shaneellison.com/
Which Anti-Inflammatory Supplements Actually Work?
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/three-anti-inflammatory-supplements-can-really-fight-disease-according-to/
Disclaimer
This is not medical advice. Herbalists do not diagnose, treat or cure any disease. The information provided here is for educational purposes only.
For many, these celebratory feasts are both greatly anticipated and dreaded-while undoubtedly delicious, for some the cost of fully participating for those with food sensitivities or dietary restrictions can leave us with discomfort and/or pain that can last for days, weeks, or even months to follow. But regardless of whether we have these issues or not, all of us desire community and connection in these times, and deliciousness should not have to be sacrificed for eating in a way that is nourishing to the body. And we shouldn’t have to accept a painful flare-up as the price we pay for social connection, although all too often that is exactly what we do.
What’s striking to me about the tension and stress that eating in social settings can create is that it’s a wholly modern phenomenon. Up until the last 100 years, it was understood that food is medicine. We ate for nourishment. But in recent decades that has flipped on us, to the point that there’s not a whole lot left in the grocery store that our bodies actually recognize as food, and so we have to take a bunch of this other stuff we call ‘medicine’ to fix the problems aggravated by our diets.
We act like this is a very hard problem to solve, like the only options are ‘healthy’ or ‘delicious,’ but I don’t see it that way at all. I’d like to argue that it is possible to make food that is incredibly tasty and nourishing at the same time for everyone at your holiday gathering. And it may be quite a bit easier than you think.
Consider the meat you are serving-whether it’s a roasted turkey or perhaps a pork roast or baked ham or whatever else you have in mind, where the meat comes from matters. The fat in an animal that was raised in healthy conditions is full of anti-inflammatory omega-3s, whereas the fat in an animal that was raised in a factory farm is full of pro-inflammatory omega-6’s. We actually do need some inflammation and some omega-6s, but the American diet is already drowning in both. Bottom line: you don’t have to change the kind of meat or the recipe at all-just buy from local family farms! Literally any farm on Lopez. It’s that easy.
And yet, I know this can also be really confusing. Different headlines may jerk you in different directions-RFK suggests cutting back on seed oils but increasing saturated fats….what to make of that? Well, again I would point to the fact that where the meat comes from matters. And unfortunately, when all the studies were done on how evil saturated fats are decades ago, they did NOT distinguish between Lopez stew meat and Oscar Meyer Bologna. And I find that unfortunate. RFK is promoting saturated fats but he isn’t making that distinction either, which is just muddying the waters all around.
I think the thing we can all agree on is that processed foods are bad news, so homemade cooking for your feast is going to be a step up no matter what. But you don’t have to stop there.
If you’re worried about cholesterol, identifying food triggers and other inflammatory foods are where it is at, not the cholesterol level in the food itself. Let me say that again-it’s not the cholesterol in the food that matters, it’s the inflammation that causes your body to produce excess cholesterol in the first place. This isn’t fringe herbalist nonsense-back in 2015 the dietary guidelines for Americans were updated to reflect the fact that cholesterol in food has very little effect on the cholesterol we accumulate in our bodies. Rather, when we eat things that create an inflammatory response in our bodies, cholesterol is produced to act kind of like a scab to cover over the damage that is caused.
So the more inflammatory things we eat (either from pro-inflammatory foods or foods that you are sensitive or allergic to), the more cholesterol our body has to make to seal over the damage. You don’t have to stop eating bacon and eggs-just get the ones that come from healthy animals!
Now let’s move on to sugar, another holiday favorite. Here’s the thing about sweet things: in the natural world of our hunter-gatherer ancestors, sweet things were never dangerous to humans. They were hard to come by, but if you found something sweet, you knew it was not going to be poisonous and that it would have nourishment. Our modern bodies are still wired for that reality-sweetness still tends to give us feelings of comfort and safety, even though the majority of the sweet things we are eating today are anything but nourishing. This is why it’s so hard to stop eating sweet things, especially when we are stressed out.
So let’s not do away with sweets at our holiday gatherings-they have an important place at the table. What we can do though is swap our refined sugar and the like for anti-inflammatory sweeteners like honey, coconut sugar, maple syrup or monk fruit.
Quantity, of course, matters too. I’m a huge fan of flourless chocolate cake (which just so happens to be gluten and dairy free if you make it with coconut oil), and over the years I have experimented with just how much sugar I can reduce from the recipe without anyone even noticing. Turns out it’s quite a bit! Usually you can reduce the sugar by half in most recipes and it still tastes quite sweet. So even using less sugar in a recipe can allow you to make your old favorites while doing some harm reduction at the same time.
We’ve also never lived in an easier time to find gluten-free alternatives to just about everything you could possibly want or need. It’s gotten so easy. From pie crusts to sourdough bread to chocolate chip cookies, there are so many yummy ways to do it without gluten.
Of course, the obvious objection to doing any of this is that it’s going to cost more. And yes, that’s true-sometimes by just a little, sometimes a lot. And that does point to how much of ‘eating healthy’ can be tied to our socioeconomic status. But sometimes when we say we can’t afford something, we really mean that we don’t prioritize it. If we say we can’t afford eggs from cage-free chickens but still manage to get takeout a few times a week, it’s not really accurate to say we can’t afford it. If you are fortunate enough to have any disposable income, then your dollars (to an extent at least) reflect your values.
And the reality is that one way or another we are going to pay for what we eat with our health. Autoimmune disease rates, for example, have been skyrocketing the last ten years or so, to the point that in the course of my lifetime they have gone from being a rare thing to something incredibly common and affecting an ever growing number of folks.
Diet plays an enormous role here. As a clinical herbalist, you might expect me to say that herbs are the answer, but remember that whole thing about food being medicine? Ok, truth be told I actually do have a pretty great tea formula that can really speed up gut healing, but if I’m being honest, I have to tell you that removing problematic foods from the diet is going to have an even greater impact. And combining food with gut healing herbs can be totally transformative for someone living with chronic pain and debilitating limitations.
That being said, social gatherings make it really, really hard for folks with dietary restrictions to avoid painful flare-ups. Avoiding the gathering leads to social isolation though, and who wants that around the holidays!? It’s very challenging for folks to have to choose between their social needs and their physical health, but that is usually the reality people are dealing with.
(One final important thing to consider here are those with conditions like ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), which can show up for some autistic people and other folks as well. With ARFID, the root cause is often tied up in sensory issues-like an aversion to a certain texture-or about a fear of a food being unsafe because it could cause choking, etc. This condition is widely misunderstood, and often these individuals are accused of being antisocial, dramatic or get diagnosed with something like anorexia, even though body image is not at the heart of the condition.
Individuals with ARFID may have a narrow list of foods that are on their ‘safe’ list, and the holidays can be an overwhelming time. Particularly if someone has ARFID and autism, there can be the combined stress of social anxiety and anxiety about food. Being informed and compassionate about this and giving folks the space to eat what feels safe to them can help minimize the stress that holiday gatherings can bring.
So when you think about hosting an inclusive holiday gathering this year, consider broadening your ideas about what inclusivity can mean to include those with dietary restrictions and/or anyone living with chronic illness, pain or disability. You don’t have to try to create a menu that everyone can eat 100%--let your guests bring a dish too and share in the process. If someone needs to bring separate food for themselves because they have an especially challenging situation, that’s totally fine. It’s only a big deal if you turn it into one. Kindness and compassion are also part of being inclusive.
In terms of menu planning, if your meal is generally anti-inflammatory and low in major allergens, that is going to go a long way towards making it accessible to all of your guests, and literally everyone at the table will benefit from a truly nourishing and delicious meal that can give both your tastebuds and your bellies something to smile about.
If you need a little inspiration, stop by the Winter Farmer's Market Sat. and sample one of my herbal truffles--flavors like Nootka Rose, Ginger Spice, etc., all wildly decadent, anti-inflammatory and free of all major allergens.
For Further Reading
Inflammation, not Cholesterol, Is a Cause of Chronic Disease
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5986484/
Nutrition and Health in Agriculturists and Hunter-Gatherers: https://proteinpower.com/nutrition-and-health-in-agriculturalists-and-hunter-gatherers/
New Insights About Inflammation
https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/new-insights-about-inflammation
Life Saving Cholesterol Facts
https://newswithviews.com/Ellison/shane13.htm
About the author: https://shaneellison.com/
Which Anti-Inflammatory Supplements Actually Work?
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/three-anti-inflammatory-supplements-can-really-fight-disease-according-to/
Disclaimer
This is not medical advice. Herbalists do not diagnose, treat or cure any disease. The information provided here is for educational purposes only.
